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STAT

by Rubber Band Gun

/
1.
2.
Every seat in the house Every row in the stands They can hear me projecting with the sound of a man And I bow to the band And curl my left hand and wait For one, One song to end One more show to pretend That Im lost in the feeling when the pit strings are reeling But no Take it away from me I’ve no need for your qualms or woes Cause I’ve been a star for every year They said I’d be out but I’m still here The sour grapes have disappeared and I’m still standing people We’re high above the sky We’re far past mars We’re above the stars Most kids put their threat at triple Ours hits 6.8 with a whistle Maybe you just can’t get any better than this No No one left in our path No one left to surpass We’ve ascended to greatness brother were famous We’ll go, go down in history for the tears and the laughs But no one will really know Cause I’ve been a star for every year They said I’d be out but I’m still here The sour grapes have disappeared and I’m still standing people We’re high above the sky We’re far past mars We’re above the stars
3.
Vaudevillain 05:31
You haven't the charisma You haven't a clue Your amateur voice is a weapon you fail to use and abuse You’re not entertaining You’re not in demand My every move is a choice watch as I stand still...and now I move on If your presence is tragic and the orchestra's magic you can carry a tune Maybe if you work like Elena become a true entertainer you’ll have your name on the sign Practice all your lines and runs please be at call on time All the blocking is done Coordination, intonation locked! You talk about us like we’re made of paper you reprimand us like we misbehave but you’d be better off directing from an unmarked grave you think you’re something special Mr. Vaudeville you think your something godly we should fear what if we were walked out before curtains what of your career what a bad bad year practice all your lines and runs please be a call on time have fun please warm up on your own say something check your microphone test one test one You haven’t the training you haven’t a gift I can’t even count on my hands all the notes you missed in the bridge Eyes upon Henry and maybe you’ll learn what true talent looks like what it feels to get you what you deserve You should move on if your presence is tragic and the orchestras magic you can carry a tune maybe if you work like a Elena become a true entertainer you could you have your name on the sign
4.
Yes, Henry 04:42
You say Yes Henry Oh but of course Henry You never hear what I say Just proudly proclaim We agree Henry You say you’re right henry We can’t deny Henry Why is it all you can do to answer Me too It’s just too friendly How did my living go from a room full of meds and chaperones to a sycophants dream How can you have same French limousine and favorite champagne You say Yes Henry Oh but of course Henry You never hear what I say Just proudly proclaim We agree Henry You say you’re right henry We can’t deny Henry Why is it all you can do to answer Me too It’s just too friendly Who’s Henry do we really even know Who’s Henry we don’t see him any more I have to be sure I don’t bother him I have to be sure to stop whos Henry will we get to figure out who Henry Who’s he think he is now I never knew I never knew Henry Who’s Henry where did something go wrong Who’s Henry he’s not that person anymore The perfect favorite person that the people pay to see The tickets sales are fading it’s just me out in the seats go Henry
5.
I want the whole room I want to bed I want tubes up inside my head I want the silence I want the science I want the names of the guests that sign in I want to soda and I want to diet of sweet potato pie I’ll take the bathroom redecorate Put in a claw foot, exfoliate if I get my heart broke I’m first in line that’s why a quality hospitals the life oh sweet Elena what of the theater? you're like a queen here it’s never been clearer we need your full voice your nice falsetto you're like a bird dear in 5 inch stilettos I’ve read the same words they don’t even rhyme and I’m so tired of a cappella and when we dance together harmony's just a waste of time that’s why a quality hospitals the life I don’t want urgent care no treatment can compare to the luxury my coverage provides it could be lovely to be tested and studied all day there’s no invitation just iatric temptation and I can’t do an apple a day I’d be so lucky to end up all bloody and read I want the curtains I want the phone I’ll call the nurses I’ll call it home Ill bring my towels And all my lotions I’ll have my dogs shipped over the ocean And I’ll custom make my gown the perfect size Happy sick and waited on like MASH in the chateau Marmont I got a life insurance card I don’t know how to turn it on But a quality hospitals the life We're just worried for you We know what you're going through What are you trying to prove and to who? You must be joking this is made You're losing everything you have Im sure you'll see See what we mean You’re all afraid to see the other side I know a quality hospitals the life I don’t want urgent care no treatment can compare to the luxury my coverage provides it could be lovely to be tested and studied all day there’s no invitation just iatric temptation and I can’t do an apple a day I’d be so lucky to end up all bloody and read
6.
We’re hustling We're bustling trying to get out We're driving, surviving we’re dodging the crowd We're running stunning got to hear some dinner music Night music in the air what a simple fair they have our tickets at the door Pushing shoving got to get up To broadway the island is stuck in rut Caught in the weather we still got to try to make the show We’re hustling We're bustling trying to get out We're driving, surviving we’re dodging the crowd We're running stunning got to hear some dinner music Night music in the air what a simple fair they have our tickets at the door make the show make the show Hustlin Gotta make the show make the show They say I’m lucky Cause I’ve seen 1 million faces but I don’t know a single soul in all these places I do what I do for the better the better way to you I try to realize something better is finding me tonight the only way to see how happy we can truly be is to cause an emergency it’s time To aim right through the center of our target sight If we’re lucky we’ll live the hospital life I’m the president and I’m here today I have a deep respect for the actors stage I’ve seen my share of Broadway shows and revues I used to dance way back in school I did some tap and ball room too and now I run the world I made the show start the show
7.
8.
Dr. Ben 03:33
I’m just a table Who’s legs aren’t too stable Who’s top holds the weight of your hat I let you lean on my head when you need But at some point you need to sit back You spill your drink and the gravy boat sinks and rings stain the delta's green grass still I remain up right in the way to help keep my honor intact I’m just a chair who's half up the stairs someone forgot me up top I’m on my way, it could be any day I’ll wait for the carpet to flop is this what I get with a BMBS? put all my money in man I’m so sore Ooo I ache I’m the softest M.D. across the whole state I can’t learn or discern the social cues life can demand I am lost in your eyes and I can’t describe the feeling I get when I look at you Im struck with a chord a bright major chord with suspensions and tensions our love is in tune quick check my heartbeat hear my heartbeat blood is pressured heat is storing chart recording Height is measured Weight is measured I love you
9.
Surgeon Mary 02:51
Mary surgeon Surgeon Mary what a perfect name Its so great and descriptive Mary may I call you Mary I feel like a frank But no I’m Henry Two of us Sick in love I’ll take what you prescribe Let me stay fever the day The quality hospital life Mary how you saved me Gave me light you gave me life with your knife Mary maybe we can marry at the ward tonight Just tonight Two of us Sick in love I’ll take what they prescribe Let me stay fever the day The quality hospital life
10.
Dreams?? 03:19
In my dreams I’m not the patient Can hardly face a real life In my dreams I’ve been mistaken Don’t wish me well, it’s too nice In my dreams I’m So ill fated for you You took out ur cellphone just to leave the room and I’m wondering who Has a dream where There’s anther you there Your double breathes the same air, same air In those dreams I guarantee I don’t see the seems and hem lines In my dreams I’m So ill fated for you You made up a phone call just to leave the room And i want the truth In my dreams I’m not the patient Can hardly face a real life In my dreams I’ve been mistaken Don’t wish me well, it’s too nice
11.
I’ve waited for them to be wrong Longer days I’ve been away all my life now I’m here I’ve waited for them to be right When can I hold you again rub some dirt in my eye And watch lady bugs on the rail They know how to do baby it’s you You’re my intravenous in blue I’ve waited for you all my life Something there I never saw in the mirror before I’ve waited for them to be wrong I can say I have a love in my life and you’re here To watch lady bugs on the rail They know how to do baby it’s you You’re my intravenous in blue You flow underneath You keep it discrete You make me feel things Things some people hate But you know how to keep me distracted I’ve waited for them to be wrong Longer days I’ve been away all my life now I’m here I’ve waited for them to be right When can I hold you again in my eye And watch lady bugs on the rail They know how to do and baby it’s you You’re my intravenous in blue
12.
My dearest Henry I hope you’re all right I hope you come back into the spotlight I saw your stand in he had a bad lisp he couldn’t dance straight he couldn’t line kick I hope and pray you get back in time the show was quality till you took a dive hello Elena I hope you read this I think your splendid your voice is pure bliss I wrote you a haiku but I can’t remember how many syllables to add together I sent you flowers three or four times I’d be so happy if you would reply ,yours forever Jeanie my baby Henry this is your mom dear please tell your sister I’m on a roll here we bet the river Atlantic City your father's ponies they look so pretty we hope you find whatever you’re after I know you both want life to go faster your mind can change each and every time Thats how your father and I have found the life
13.
Please get ready to go we gotta have enough time to pick up flowers for the closing hey music man where did you go to music man? hey music man which way to the show music man? I’m just in heaven when the flashing lights are trying to signal me They're gonna start the show and make me feel fine yeah they make me believe orchestra is rising in the curtain is climbing Theyre getting ready to start the show music man music girl music boys with music pearls Music guy music lass I’m the president and I’m back to say I’m thrilled to see he show today It’s good to see our darlings on their feet As you may have heard I used to dance and now I sign accords with France But I make time for theatre I love it so Start the show
14.

about

Rubber Band Gun surgically presents....


SUPER CHAPTER V:


STAT


The new musical comedy about healthcare, fame, & sweet potato pie



STAT

book by Dinu Vlasic


ACT 1

On the day of their 1000th show, Henry and Elena Ruth, a silver spooned American brother-sister Broadway duo in their mid-thirties, descend the stairs of their living quarters in the Belasco Theatre (We’re Above The Stars). As they go through their morning warm up routine, the 93 year old rehearsal pianist falls off her bench, dead. As the medics takes her away, Elena’s eye catches the pure white sheet of the stretcher. She sees the striking bright red lines on the ambulance. She smells the sanitized gloves of the paramedics. The theatre director, Mr. Vaudeville, scolds the shows co-stars and stand-ins complaining that they are not fit to be on the same stage as Henry and Elena. The co-stars threaten to walk out on the show, ruining his career (Vaudevillain).

Surrounded by yes-men, Henry feels unable to escape a cloud of approval. His friends and co-stars only say what he wants to hear and what he will agree with. He yearns for a real conversation and a disagreement (Yes Henry). Henry is shrewd yet melancholy in contrast to Elena who, despite her childish persona, is naively romantic and too influenced by feeling and impulse. While Henry mopes about his relationships, Elena’s attention lies with her run-in with the ambulance. She looks at the curtain on stage; dusty, red, dull, and boring. She looks over at the beautiful mural on the ceiling. She huffs, unamused. As she walks across the stage, she fantasizes about being whisked away to a hospital and having her needs met through healthcare (Quality Hospital Life). While Henry is craving a personal relationship that doesn’t hinge on his success, Elena wants the excitement of being on the verge of life/death while living in her vision of a crisp clean utopia. Somehow feeling both a sense of aplomb and hopelessness, they decide that because their combined talents are so great and absolute, the only reasonable next step is to be hospitalized. Together they devise a plan to injure themselves and exit their careers with excitement.

The city is in a frenzy to get to the stage darlings 1000th show and celebrate. The theatre is packed like never before as celebrity after celebrity take their seats. Backstage, Henry and Elena do their final warmups and load a pair of pistols with live rounds. As the curtains are about to go up, US President Rhubarb emerges from his box seat and declares his enthusiasm for the event. After his address is finished, the two open fire on each other center stage, collapsing to the floor to the sound of crowd delirium (Make The Show). 


ACT 2

Elena wakes in a hospital bed to a tall thin older man standing beside her looking over her chart. As she sits up, she looks around in wonder as if she’s entered a magical new land. She inhales deeply taking in the sharp and sedative smell of the rich hygienic central AC. The ceiling lights gleam with a blue and white aura that adds an extra layer of sterility to an already spotless facility. She looks toward the windows at the pure blue curtains, and as she tries to get out of bed, the man stops her, informing her she needs rest. Dr. Ben is a middle aged man, down on his luck and pushed around, who feels that the world has taken advantage of him. Elena sees the doctor is in pain and feels that she needs to care for him and falls in love, although he wants nothing to do with her (Dr. Ben). Henry wakes in a drug induced stupor after having to undergo surgery to remove the bullet from his stomach. In his drugged up state, he instantly falls in love with a woman beside the bed who he dubs as his “Surgeon Mary” when in reality she is a nurse practitioner checking his vitals (Surgeon Mary). Both Henry and Elena make advances on their love interests but to no avail. After 5 days in the hospital, Elena is to be released but she sabotages her own recovery by stabbing herself with a shiv. The duo reunite and discuss how they’ve been having the same dreams and that they both want to stay in the hospital (Dreams??).

Back in the real world, the public has started to flock to the hospital in hopes of seeing the sick pair. It seems the Ruths popularity has skyrocketed after their “accident”. Henry continues to pursue “Mary” who he learns is really named Elizabeth. He goes to great lengths to get noticed by her but nothing changes until he sculpts a model of a brain from a collection of gum of a brand that she often chews. With her attention, he confesses his love for her in the most tenderly way he can, in song (Intravenous In Blue). Elizabeth turns him down and reassures him that when he recovers and returns to the stage he will find happiness. For the first time, both Ruth siblings can't get what they want most, and it dawns on them that for them, the hospital is a place where they can constantly be in repair and a state of "progress".

After 16 days in the hospital, Henry and Elena are both set to be released the following day. After allowing fan letters to pile up for weeks, they decide to open a few (Letters To The Ruths). On the bottom of the letters is an unmarked package addressed to the Ruth family. They make the decision to put on a make-shift play in the hospitals auditorium. They call their agents and send out a notice for the Ruths comeback show. The word spreads quickly and before they know it, requests are coming in from all over to attend. The auditorium fills with broadway enthusiasts, celebrities, and hospital staff. Inklings of conversations are heard about their last show and those lucky enough to have viewed it. Some attendees carry signs expressing their love for the duo and wishing them to “Get Well”. As the show gets ready to start, President Rhubarb once again emerges to make another presidential address. As Henry and Elena, take the stage, they pull out the loaded pistols that were mailed to them, and shoot each other in the chest (Music Man). The stage is rushed by dozens of doctors as the curtains fall. 

credits

released June 12, 2018

CAST


Richard Brooks as………...…......……..HENRY RUTH
Donna Davis as…...........……….....….ELENA RUTH
Ben Chatrer as…………...………….....……DR. BEN
Johnny Costa as……….......…...…..MR. VAUDEVILLE
Alec Gaston as.................PRES. RHUBARB/LIL BOY
Tara Hart as…………............…….....………..JEANIE
Garrett Hoover as…….............…………LEWIS LOU
Julian Castillo as……........…. PHILLIPS BAREFOOT
Will Olexsak as………...............…..NEIL BAREFOOT
Patty Basko as..………............……GLADICE RUTH
Darren Nash as…………............…HENRY'S #1 FAN
Nick Palladino as...……...............TOMMY TOMATAS



Musicians


Kevin Basko - piano, drums, electric bass, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, accordion

Riley Byrne - upright bass, cello

Victoria Romano - violin, viola

Nathan Bishop - violin

Brian Clines - clarinet, flute

Jeff Santoro - clarinet

Joe Gullace - trumpet, cornet

Percussion by Johnny Costa, Julian Castillo, Riley Byrne, Darren Nash, Brian Palladino, Nick Palladino, Kevin Basko





All songs written, recorded, produced, engineered by Kevin Basko

Assistant Engineered by Rias Reed

Mixed & Mastered by Kevin Basko and Rias Reed

Arranged & Orchestrated by Kevin Basko and Riley Byrne

Additional assistance by Pat Gaeta

Album artwork by Rias Reed

Recorded fully to tape on a Tascam MSR16

Recorded at the Basko Family Home, NJ (May 26-June 3, 2018)



All stories and characters are part of the Super Chapters collection.

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